A lifestyle blog from a forty-something mum

Showing posts with label Empty nest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Empty nest. Show all posts

Friday, 25 March 2016

Home for Easter

Empty nest, parenting, EasterDaughter Olivia is on her way home as I write this post. Sophia is already here after we collected her from uni last weekend. Last Sunday was a very long day and this meant that we have been tired for most of the week. Not that we shared that with our daughter obviously. To our kids, we'll always be mum & dad and therefore capable of anything.

I anticipate chaos during the week ahead as we adapt to living together as a family of four all over again. Sophia will work on final pieces for her degree show in May; Olivia, on her dissertation. There will be mess and mayhem, laughter and tantrums as I try (and fail) to keep everything afloat.

I read a fabulous post from Suzanne over at Chickenruby earlier in the week. What Happens After Your Kids Leave Home? summed up rather beautifully what it's like to live without your children once they're all grown. It resonated well with thoughts about my own daughters.

It's taken a while to settle down, but since my daughters left home and went to university we've got used to sharing our home with a cat who thinks she's in charge. I juggle 2 part-time jobs. Keep the house going. Find time to read. Enjoy long soaks in the bath. Go out for leisurely breakfasts with my husband. Attend local music nights. Spend time with friends. And secretly enjoy my own company more than I ever thought possible.

Having to factor in the needs of four all over again comes as a shock. I sometimes wonder if I'm becoming selfish in my old age - but it's rather lovely to be able to do all those things I haven't had time for since becoming a mum. I love my daughters more than anything, but accept that they need to live their lives and enjoy their own space. When they left for university in 2013 I couldn't imagine life without them, but now, I love that my daughters are capable of being independent - it kind of validates your role as a parent doesn't it?

For now, I'm mum all over again. Cakes are baked, the freezer filled, cupboards stocked and Easter Eggs hidden. I anticipate the car never being on the drive, the house unravelling and not being able to find what ever I'm looking for. The laundry basket will overflow, plans change at the last minute and I'll be up to date with the latest chart music.

When they leave, I will miss their company and the laughter that fills the house when they are here. 

As both daughters finish university in June, I have to get used to sharing the house all over again. Sophia's off to the US for 3 months and plans on completing a TEFL course and heading off again after that. Olivia's home for the summer at least. Who knows what will happen next? She returns to uni early for work experience at a newspaper and is busy applying for jobs.

Whatever happens I'm exceptionally proud of my girls and all that they have achieved. But just like Mummy Pig in The Three Little Pigs, I know that it's time for my daughters to make their way in the world and believe that this is the ultimate goal any parent could possibly hope for.

Copyright ©2016 Izzie Anderton


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Saturday, 20 September 2014

10 Things I Love About the Empty Nest...

Life in an empty nestWell the girls have gone back to uni and the house is in chaos, (just the way they left it) but it's my chaos. And eventually everything will get cleaned, find a home, get donated, or flung in the bin.

I miss Olivia and Sophia a lot. I think about what they might be up to countless times during each and every day and fret that they're not looking after themselves, but there are some advantages to not sharing the house with my daughters...

1. For starters, Mr A and myself can do what the heck we want, whenever we feel like it! This often involves heading off for a long walk and ensuring that we return via the pub on the way home. What's not to love?!

2. My cute little car is always exactly where I left it and available for outings whenever the mood takes me. During the summer my car was mostly AWOL and always needed filling up with petrol.

3. There are chocolate bars in the cupboard that have been there for more than a day! And it's always a pleasant surprise to discover one, rather than an empty wrapper.

4. I can talk to the cat. And she is brilliant... loves hugs, doesn't answer back, or make too many demands (apart from tuna a couple of times per week). I don't know why we didn't have her first... just kidding!

5. My expensive shower gels and lotions are back in the bathroom. When both daughters were home, I discovered mostly empty bottles when I was daft enough to leave them lying around. Grrrrrrrr!!!

6. I can go to bed at 10pm without being told that I'm turning into a pensioner, and read as many pages of whatever I'm reading as I want without any interruptions whatsoever.

7. The size of our restaurant bill has halved! OK we might go out twice as much as we used to, but yay!

8.We get to plan our next holiday and as our daughters have been to Barcelona for a week during the summer, I'm not going to feel guilty about it! Who knows where we'll go next?

9. I have all the time in the world to write... without interruption... and that has to be my all time favourite pastime of all when the kids aren't home!

10. And last, but by no means least... private time with Mr A. All I'm going to say on the subject is this...
apart from checking into a hotel, how are you supposed to have sex with your other half when you share a house with 2 bat-eared teens?


Until next time...

Copyright©2014 Izzie Anderton



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