A lifestyle blog from a forty-something mum

Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Friday, 1 April 2016

9 Things you can do When You're a Grown-up but Probably Won't...

Grown-up, consequences, teenagers, adultsI guess the illusion of what it's like to be a grown-up is so very different when we're teenagers. Why would anyone choose to conform, when possibilities for creating infinite mayhem and doing exactly as you please exist in the adult world?

I guess you can do anything you want (as long as it's legal) when you're all grown-up.

Just like childhood however, there are consequences...

Eat what ever you want
No one is going to judge if you eat chocolate, cookies, or cereal all day long. The calories however, will add inches to your waistline and trips to the dentist will be something you do a lot. It's with extreme reluctance that you admit your mum was probably right when she insisted you ate a healthy diet and didn't snack between meals.

Stay up all night
This was probably my idea of nirvana when I was growing up and had to be in bed before 9pm. As an adult, contemplating what would happen the following day at work doesn't bear thinking about. And even if you could stay awake long enough to watch an entire box set - chances are, you'll wake up with neck pain on the sofa the next morning, having slept through the whole series.

Buy what ever you want
You're a grown-up. With adulthood comes great responsibility - and also a credit card. Yay! It's just that by the time you've paid the bills, the mortgage, filled the fridge, popped a couple of bottles of wine (or beer) into the supermarket trolley, paid taxes, had the boiler fixed - plus a whole host of other grown up expenses that gobble up our wages - there may not be a lot left for anything you actually wanted to buy.

Time off for good behaviour
Time off work should be probably be redefined as time to catch up on all the domestic nonsense you haven't managed to accomplish while earning enough money to pay the bills. If you want a day off - you either need to leave the house and go somewhere for the entire day, or close your eyes and be oblivious to everything that requires your attention.

All the stuff you didn't manage to do before leaving the house (or choosing to ignore it) will still be waiting when you arrive home (or open your eyes).

Spend time with friends
While life on TV revolves around coffee shops, pubs and spending time with friends, keeping up with mates who also have crazy work schedules, children and busy lives of their own is the stuff of nightmares. There was a time where you couldn't manage without seeing friends each and every day - but now the months go by and you realise that you haven't managed to see anyone in a very long time.

Fake it until you make it
All the adults in our lives might have created the illusion that they knew exactly what they doing when we were children. They didn't. This realisation was a bitter disappointment when I became an adult myself and couldn't fathom out why I still wasn't any the wiser. I'm getting older and none of this is getting any easier.

So, what do you want to be when you grow up?
You probably knew exactly what you wanted to be when you were a child. Astronaut. Nurse. Vet. But as an adult does anyone actually know what they want to become when they eventually become fully fledged grown-ups? Or are we all still getting by the only way we know how to make a living?

Make a fuss about bed time
Sleep is a pastime that you no longer avoid. In fact, it may have become your new best friend as you're always happily to enjoy its company. In fact, given the choice between a late night, or a perfect night's sleep - most grown-ups would choose the latter.

Make as much mess as you like
Just as long as you remember you're the one that's going to have to clean it up.

Is there anything I've missed?

Copyright ©2016 Izzie Anderton

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Saturday, 8 November 2014

Mentor Link

Founded in 2002 by Andrea Maddocks MBE, Mentor Link provides a mentoring service for children in the West Midlands. The charity currently has over 250 volunteer mentors and supports 360 pupils in local schools.

Mentor Link professionally recruits and trains volunteer mentors from the local community and aims to provide one-to-one support for children who may be facing difficulties and improve self-esteem, relationships and engagement in learning.

Sadly, as young people aren't as cute as babies... as adorable as fluffy bunnies... or as headline grabbing as the latest cancer figures, the charity doesn't receive the funding it deserves. Partly funded by The National Lottery, it relies on donations, a small but dedicated staff and a willing group of volunteers in order to survive. And with demand for the service increasing each year - the charity is looking to expand.

To raise vital additional funds, founder Andrea plans a challenging fund-raising even in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania for 2015. She'll trek for six days in wild and remote areas, experience harsh conditions and possibly encounter bears and wolves. She's set a fund-raising target of £10,000 - with all money raised going towards expanding the service and offering more children who may be facing difficulties in their lives, access to a mentor.

For more information about Mentor Link, click here

Alternatively, if you'd like to support Andrea's fund-raising event, please click on the link below:


Having volunteered for Mentor Link for the past seven years, this is a cause that's very close to my heart. Does anyone else volunteer too I wonder? If so, I'd love to hear about it...

Until next time...

Copyright©2014 Izzie Anderton

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Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Three Little Words

I have always hugged my daughters and told them they are loved at every available opportunity. And now that they're older I can’t see any reason to stop. Over the years I suspect they mostly learnt to take this for granted and often when I’m dishing out words of affection it's received with... 'Oh Mum,' and closely followed by a sigh. Just occasionally the gesture gets reciprocated and that makes me very happy indeed. Now that both daughters are away at university (and I don’t get to see them until the holidays) I’ve resorted to writing letters and emails that end... Hugs and kisses, Mum xx

I’m not convinced either daughter appreciates the gesture.

During my daughters' sometimes challenging teen years I never said that they weren't loved… even in the middle of a row. If I was mad with either of them, I'd say, 'I love you, but I don't always like what you're doing.' I guess you have to remember you're the adult, no matter how bitter the argument.

I have a nephew, he's twelve years of age, gorgeous and mischievous and I know I'm going to have embarrassed him by saying that. My sister tells her son each and every day how much she loves him and he's started to resent this, just like my daughters did a few years ago.

During a recent visit to my sister's house I was chatting to my nephew and as he’s in training to be a teenager, he was not amused that his mum was dishing out her daily dose of affection.

'So, who's crazier then... me or your Mum?'

'You're both as bad as each other,' was his honest reply.

'Do you want to know why?' I asked.

'I guess so,' he said.

'Well, how would you feel if no one ever said that they loved you and you didn't feel as though anyone cared at all?'

'I guess I'd feel sad,' he said.

'Exactly, I said.'

I don't suppose he'll do anything but protest the next time his mum tells him how much she loves him... but maybe my nephew will remember our conversation and think about what life would be like if no one said those three little words at all.

Until next time...

Copyright©2014 Izzie Anderton

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Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Grandkittens Maybe?

I was having a conversation with my mum the other day. She asked if I ever thought my daughters would have children of their own. My answer was simply, "I have no idea."

Over the years I've often wondered how life will work out. Do I imagine that I'll ever be a grandma? Here are my thoughts:

I think Sophia imagines adult life with cats and maybe a dog, instead of children. I will embrace being a grandma to three (maybe more) grandkittens and a grandpuppy wholeheartedly. They can celebrate birthdays and Christmas and I will spoil them rotten. Although I have always imagined my youngest daughter with a son: a mini bundle of feisty, adventurous mischief, just like his mum. I understand why she feels that having a family will cramp her lifestyle, rowing is how she spends most of her time when she isn't studying and she can't imagine ever wanting anything else. Maybe someday she will change her mind. And whatever her decision, it's fine by me.

Olivia meanwhile, loves being at university and has realised that leaving after another couple of years means she will be a part of the adult world and everything it has to offer: good or bad. She has no desire to be a mum either, although I have always imagined her with a daughter. A miniature version of herself: happy in her own company, a passion for books and a wicked sense of humour. Maybe one day my eldest daughter will change her mind too. I will respect her decision, whatever that might be.

Over the years, I have joked that grandma will look after her granddaughter, grandson, the cats and dog, for an entire day each week, so that my daughters can work, rest, row, read books, or whatever. And while the grandkids might turn up looking normal - grandma has plans to buy a stash of fancy dress costumes so they can play to their hearts' content. I also plan to spoil the kittens and the dog. Whether or not, this ever happens in real life is up to my daughters.

Who knows what the future holds? I'm not sure that at nineteen, I ever imagined having a family either. Although being a mum is fabulous, the decision about whether or not, to become one, isn't easy. If I had my time over and had to make the decision all over again, I'm certain that I wouldn't change a thing.

How do you imagine life will work out for your kids?

Until next time...

Copyright©2014 Izzie Anderton
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