A lifestyle blog from a forty-something mum

Friday, 24 April 2015

After they've gone...


Leaving, home, empty nestAfter the girls left home and went to university I imagined that life would reinvent itself and I'd soon find a new niche after nineteen years of mayhem. I soon discovered that you'll always be mum and that this new phase of parenting involves sorting out issues from a distance. Just this week Olivia has asked me to proof-read several essays, while Sophia requested that I stay in for the entire day and wait for an urgent delivery - Grrr! It's as though they have staff - only we live so far away from one another.

As to when my daughters will make an appearance at home for the summer - I have no idea. All I know is that we're heading down south to move Olivia into new accommodation at the beginning of July. Who knows if and when we'll be called upon in the meantime?

Here's what happens when they've left...

1. You sell their extensive collection of Harry Potter Lego on eBay and immediately feel terrible for packing up their childhood and letting it go.

2. They arrive home again for the holidays with mounds of washing and the chaos starts all over again. It's a shock to the system as you appear to have forgotten how to share a home with your offspring.

3. You send occasional goodie bags and treats because life at uni (although brilliant) isn't as luxurious as it is at home.

4. They are in your thoughts every day even if you don't hear from them. They lead busy lives and it's good that they're learning to fend for themselves. You still miss them (a lot).

5.  Now that they're older they behave like grown-ups (most of the time). For some reason you find this mildly amusing. This doesn't amuse them in the slightest however, and it's best to keep this thought to yourself.

6. They arrive home and leave again without packing something that's essential. Think memory sticks, passports, house keys, underwear, coursework and books!

7. You're terrified by the prospect of your offspring returning home for good at the end of their course. I'm guessing this is normal? Perhaps someone could enlighten me?

8. The cat is perpetually confused. She just gets used to having her 'sisters' home and making the most of their company, only for them to leave again. You cannot explain these things to a cat.

9. You spend a lot of time thinking, 'What next?' and 'What was that all about then?' as you try to make sense of the mayhem that was family life.

10. By the time they head back to uni, you've sussed what it means to be mum all over again, but feel as though you could do with a holiday as you're completely exhausted.


Whatever you have planned for the summer here's hoping you're a lot more organised than me. Here's to making the most of everything whatever happens x

Until next time...

Copyright©2015 Izzie Anderton

13 comments :

  1. I can imagine that it's a lot of getting used to them being gone and then getting used to them being around again - no wonder the cat is perpetually confused and I definitely remember coming home with mounds of washing for my mum to do for me!

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  2. My son is only at Primary School and there are times in the day the I really really miss him. I dont know how to handle the distance when he would go to uni! #pocolo

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  3. Although I'm dreading it, I can actually start to see this life in the not too distant future. I'm not sure how I will fare but it's nice to know that people do cope - you being one of them! Love that you send little treats in the post, I'm certain that I will be the same. You sound like a wonderful mum Izzie, your girls are very lucky. x

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  4. I love this post and feel many of the same things about my oldest daughter. We're going to move her into off campus housing today and the way I feel about this move and moving her into the dorm last fall is completely different. Last August, I was sad, but today I'm excited. It's neat to see all the ways we've both changed this year. Summer always does make me nervous though. With so much free time, it's hard to get adjusted and into a routine that works for everyone!

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  5. Oh gosh, it is all so different having older children! Mine are 1 and 3 at the moment! Wow, I've got all this to come. Lovely post :) #pocolo

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  6. This is still some way off for us Izzie but, as with parenthood so far, I'm sure we'll reach the phase before we feel quite ready for it! Thanks for writing so honestly and with such humour and warmth. Your girls are lucky to have you :-) #PoCoLo

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  7. Lovely post, the part about the cat really made me giggle! I can't imagine my two going away, it seems so far in the future. Libby will be doing a few more hours at nursery in September, I think she's going to be there four mornings a week and I'm going to miss her so much. The thought of her leaving home all together doesn't bear thinking about.xx

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  8. I have flashforwards of all of these things one day - and flash backs of my Mum doing it to me! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

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  9. It seems so far in the future for me, yet I know it will be here before I know it...

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  10. Aww it all makes me so sad. I can well imagine the mixture of pride and nostalgia that descends during this phase. I think I might have to get puppies when mine leave!

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  11. Great post- I always love to hear about the experiences of mothers who are further along the journey than me. My eldest is 12 so this is still a way off but good to hear that you survive!
    PS) I could imagine me too smiling when my offspring behave grown up!!
    #MBPW

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  12. Lovely post Izzie. It's maddening but wonderful in a way that they still are so dependent on you as a mum. My mother, now in her early 80s, recently moved closer to my much older sister in the US. Although some of my sister's kids - now in their 20s - live in the same city, my mum finds she's having to be a mum in so many ways still for my sister as well as her grandmother role for my nephew and niece, In other words it never stops!

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  13. That is such a fab post and as we are still to experience university life, I can only imagine what it will be like. The teen is currently in New Zealand for six months and I get the occasional email when I remind him that it has been a while. I haven't missed his washing though

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